I remember when I turned 30 years old. I kept thinking that this was an epic part of my existence. I was ready to take the dirty thirties head on. I was focused on my career, and was ready to get on the good foot and possibly travel the world.
Yes mama said there would be days like this – however what she didn’t say is that there would be years like this, or months like this. No one said that once you got into your thirties, you would be craving your teens or your twenties, before bills, student loans, children, or adult relationships. I often found myself missing the wonder years of walking through the hallways of high school (my first – not my second) where the biggest problem that I had was if my momma was going to find out that I cut gym class. (sorry Mom).
What I have come to terms with is that playtime may actually be kind of over. My thirties are bringing me all types of new and exciting challenges (specifics will be saved for a later post). Now that I have gotten over my initial shocks of my 2013 revelations – I have decided that I am here for all of it. Every single last frustrating, exciting, confusing, trashy, I’m better than this, get my entire life, detail.
What bought me to these thoughts was my Facebook timeline, looking at my celebrity peers such as Cory Montieth, Gia Allemand, and Lee Thompson Young. All three of them in my age group – all three of them gone too soon. The question is why? There are 2 alleged suicides and one alleged drug overdose. I couldn’t help but think to myself – did they succumb to their thirties? Has the early mid life crisis set in where we feel as if we are running out of time, that we didn’t get to do the things that we wanted when we were younger, and since we are now the adults of the society we can pretty much do what ever we want?
Except we can’t. The thirties are tricky. Tricky enough to make you feel that you are still young, but old enough to make you realize that you are really aren’t that young and when Justin Timberlake gets married, Kanye West has a baby and all of the kids from American Pie are on now on to American Reunion and possibly later on American Retirement, it makes you say – wait a minute, I really am 30!
I decided to grow up and to stop making excuses. My teens and twenties are gone and I am too old to be doing the things that I used to do. I can still have my occasional ratchet fun, but I have to be at work in the morning. Kanye said something today on Kris Jenner’s show – that he actually had a family to live for. Being the crazy dude on TV wasn’t going to work out anymore. Granted some of us had kids in our twenties therefore forcing us to go through this process a lot earlier. It seems like the group of us that started out later in life did not get this opportunity to force our way into adult hood – which seems like it would be easier than making the decision to actually grow up. It is more of an “I have to” rather than “I want to”. Truth is that some folks with kids still run around like they are teenagers, which makes things even worst. It is still a decision at the end of the day.
I made my decision – while I may look like I am 25 – I am really 31 and I am going to embrace all of it and what that means – and most importantly, be happy about it.